Convincing, not quarrelling

Ever been in an argument with someone, and you actually were the one who was right? Did the argument get nasty? Did you end up rubbing your opponents nose in their error? Did you find that you enjoyed inflicting pain and compounding guilt? Look, when you are right, you are right, but there is a way to be right that is right, and a way to be right that is wrong. In other words, it's not wrong to be right, but you can be right in such a way as to be wrong.

Think about Paul, having to argue with people about what the Lord's word says and what is will is, when you are the one who explained it to them in the first place. Paul had a 3 year long meeting with Jesus Christ after the encounter on the road to Damascus. Paul got the gospel message directly from Christ and went on to write most of the new testament. Even Peter recognized Paul's teachings as from Jesus Himself. Paul had a lot of authority, and still he got challenged. When it came to a disagreement on theology, I'm sure that in most cases Paul was right and you were wrong. Paul knew what is was like to be right in an argument and he knew how to handle it Gods way. He knew the right way to be right.

I believe that people argue much less if they have a shared understanding of the scripture. The more scripture they both know about the less there is to fight about. The more they put themselves under the authority of God, submit to His will in the scripture, the more agreement people will have. There is more unity and more compassion when the truth is in us. When there isn't agreement on what a scripture means or someone is ignorant about what a scripture says, or perhaps even someone denies the validity of a scripture, what do you do?

Here's a few scriptures on the matter. Keep this in mind the next time you are right about things from who left the refrigerator door open to whether there is life after death or not. First read Paul's response to the Corinthian church's rebellion against some aspects of Paul's doctrinal teaching in 1 Corinthians 14:36-38:

14:36 Did the word of God begin with you, or did it come to you alone? 14:37 If anyone considers himself a prophet or spiritual person, he should acknowledge that what I write to you is the Lord’s command. 14:38 If someone does not recognize this, he is not recognized.

Verse 38 can also be translated "if someone is ignorant, let them be ignorant". Does Paul get red in the face? Does he raise his voice? There are times when Paul works up a fervor and gets loud. But look at him in this situation where his authority is challenged. He knows that Jesus gave him scripture and asked him to preach it. Paul is able to say calmly, believe it or not, it's not my concern how you receive what I'm teaching. Take what I'm saying as from God or don't, I'm not going to argue with you.

John is given a similar message from his angelic tour guide at the end of the book of Revelation. Here's what the angel tells John in Revelation 22:10-11:

22:10 Then he said to me, “Do not seal up the words of the prophecy contained in this book, because the time is near. 22:11 The evildoer must continue to do evil, and the one who is morally filthy must continue to be filthy. The one who is righteous must continue to act righteously, and the one who is holy must continue to be holy.”

John is told, don't hide this information, this stuff is important for everyone to know and understand. If someone doesn't like the message then leave them be. They'll choose to be evil and filthy or they'll choose to be righteous and holy. That's not your concern. Don't fight and quarrel with them. Give the message, believe the message yourself, and let God deal with the rest of it.

Paul continues on this theme in 2 Timothy 2:24-26:

 2:24 And the Lord’s slave must not engage in heated disputes but be kind toward all, an apt teacher, patient, 2:25 correcting opponents with gentleness. Perhaps God will grant them repentance and then knowledge of the truth 2:26 and they will come to their senses and escape the devil’s trap where they are held captive to do his will.

Heated disputes are not for us. We need to be patient and gentle. Don't just be right, be righteous. Don't get heated, keep your cool and pray that God will do a work in their mind and their heart, because they aren't really arguing with you but with Him. God will be the one to bring about repentance and knowledge, not you.  Don't quarrel with people, convince them with your attitude. The next time you are right about something, don't ruin it by being wrong about how to be right.