Sunday, November 22, 2009

Phoneless in Frisco, part 2

I was in China town in San Francisco, looking for presents to buy my kids for Christmas. There was nothing there that wasn't at Target for less. That seemed so wrong to me. I really thought I'd find some unique trinket or toy that would be fun to give them. As I wandered from street to street I enjoyed some smells that certainly weren't available at Target. Some good, some more interesting than good.

I had been given rough directions to the nearest train station that would get me to the airport, but wasn't completely sure I was going in the right direction. I was approaching a Chinese guy who looked nice and I asked him where the nearest train station was. He said in a strong Chinese accent that he was from St. Louis! He had no idea. Too funny, I had asked for directions from the one Chinese guy in San Francisco's China town who was from St. Louis. I kept walking in what I hoped was the right direction.

This time I figured I had better find a white guy to ask and I soon found myself walking next to one. He was from Alaska. Very friendly and talkative, but not much help. We walked together out of China town in what I thought was the right direction and I waved good bye to him.

Now I was standing next to a Chinese lady, but I wasn't in china town. So I asked her where the nearest train station was. She smiled and said something quick in chinese and shook her head. Strike three. I found the first crowd of people I could and kept up. Sure enough we were at the train station in a few minutes.

The three times I got up the courage to ask someone for directions, it was the wrong person. I can't tell you why I wasn't able to say out loud to many of the crowds I passed "anyone know where the train station is?" Was I scared? Was I too proud? Something was wrong with me and it kept me from being efficient. I had some fun, and it's makes me LOL to think about my poor luck, those three times I did get the courage up. What if it had been more important for me to ask for help?

I was having emotional reactions to the thought of talking to strangers that I don't fully understand. My emotions are a mystery to me sometimes, I can't always tell you why I feel the way I do. All of us live with a lot of inefficiencies and problems because of emotions we can't fully understand. Our feelings can be clues to deeper problems. I think I saw a pride problem bubbling to the surface, but I can't say definitively that it wasn't just shyness. I just don't ask for help from or talk to strangers easily - why is that?

Jeremiah 17:9-10a:
17:9 The human mind is more deceitful than anything else.
It is incurably bad. Who can understand it?
17:10 I, the Lord, probe into people’s minds.
I examine people’s hearts.
Thinking of part 1 and forgetting my handy phone, it's curious that with my phone I never would have had to confront this issue. I would have had all the answers at my fingertips. God had me forget my phone to confront an issue. Well now that I know about this emotional reaction, I still can't explain it. Search me God! Probe my mind and examine my heart. Tell me if my anxiety about talking to strangers is ok, or if I need to deal with it.

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