The poisonous prude

Now, maybe you know someone who really is in trouble. They may be in trouble because they make bad decisions and they do things that are explicitly contrary to the scriptures. They may be in trouble because their attitude has ruined their relationships. Do you know people that are rude or depressed or rebellious or too proud? Someone may need to intervene in those people's lives, but not just anyone, and possibly not you.

It's too easy for me to want to be blunt and flatten somebody with the truth, because after all, I shouldn't lie, right? When I see problems in other people's lives I'm naturally inclined to judge that situation. I'm predisposed to prejudice. I may make assumptions about that person's circumstances that are way off, but from my lofty and righteous perspective, it's crystal clear. I'll feel a certainty about what I need to say to that person, because after all, they are clearly doing something wrong.

I had a gardener once who denuded a flower bed because there were a few legitimate weeds in it. I had just spent money on buying the flowers,I had spent time on planting them (well my wife did, but we're one, so I can claim it for myself), I enjoyed seeing them in the front of the house as I pulled into the driveway. In fact, I knew about the weeds, and they just didn't bother me that much. The new flower bed was such an improvement that I was willing to overlook the weeds for a little while. But not the gardener, oh no. In his righteous zeal for botanical purity, he cleansed the flower bed of my weeds and the flowers too! He was fast too. In and out, he mowed the lawn and edged it, got out the blower and cleaned up the grass and leaves and obliterated my flower bed all in about 45 seconds. He had other stops to make, but he wouldn't leave any weeds behind!

Do you remember a time where you may have been so obsessed with the impurities in someone's life, or in a situation, that you threw the baby out with the bath water? Did you do more damage with your remedy than what was happening in the first place. The gentle touch is what Paul prescribes for this. Don't rush to condemnation like a bull into a china shop! In righting some minuscule wrong, you may be breaking a beautiful work that God has begun in that person's life.

Don't forget this passage in Galatians 6:1-5:

6:1 Brothers and sisters, if a person is discovered in some sin, you who are spiritual restore such a person in a spirit of gentleness. Pay close attention to yourselves, so that you are not tempted too. 6:2 Carry one another’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. 6:3 For if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. 6:4 Let each one examine his own work. Then he can take pride in himself and not compare himself with someone else. 6:5 For each one will carry his own load.

Restoring someone should be your goal, not a satisfying smack down. Continue to be aware of your failings. Instead of trying to pull the weeds in 45 seconds, take the time to learn about what the person is going through. Walk a little bit in their shoes. Build some understanding and grow some empathy. This is difficult stuff to do, to discern rather than condemn. To learn about and help rebuild another person's life is a tough task. Don't take it on lightly. James warns from presuming to be a teacher in James 3:1-12:

3:1 Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers and sisters, because you know that we will be judged more strictly. 3:2 For we all stumble in many ways. If someone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect individual, able to control the entire body as well. 3:3 And if we put bits into the mouths of horses to get them to obey us, then we guide their entire bodies. 3:4 Look at ships too: Though they are so large and driven by harsh winds, they are steered by a tiny rudder wherever the pilot’s inclination directs. 3:5 So too the tongue is a small part of the body, yet it has great pretensions. Think how small a flame sets a huge forest ablaze. 3:6 And the tongue is a fire! The tongue represents the world of wrongdoing among the parts of our bodies. It pollutes the entire body and sets fire to the course of human existence – and is set on fire by hell.

3:7 For every kind of animal, bird, reptile, and sea creature is subdued and has been subdued by humankind. 3:8 But no human being can subdue the tongue; it is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 3:9 With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse people made in God’s image. 3:10 From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. These things should not be so, my brothers and sisters. 3:11 A spring does not pour out fresh water and bitter water from the same opening, does it? 3:12 Can a fig tree produce olives, my brothers and sisters, or a vine produce figs? Neither can a salt water spring produce fresh water.

You may not be called to restore someone, it takes a lot of self awareness and self control to control your tongue and only say what needs to be said and to say it out of love. Your attempt at restoration can too easily be twisted and filled with deadly poison. Instead, you may simply be called to what Jesus says for all believers in Matthew 5:13-16:

5:13 “You are the salt of the earth. But if salt loses its flavor, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled on by people. 5:14 You are the light of the world. A city located on a hill cannot be hidden. 5:15 People do not light a lamp and put it under a basket but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all in the house. 5:16 In the same way, let your light shine before people, so that they can see your good deeds and give honor to your Father in heaven.

Be salty, not bitter. Be gentle, not harsh. Heal your family, don't poison it. Be a light to your friends, not a punch in the face. Stop cursing those made in God's image and start being a good example of how to love like Jesus did. Then they'll give honor to their father in heaven and change their ways.

Called to judge... YOURSELF!

Do you feel that you have the spiritual gift and the holy calling to judge others? Do you feel compelled to judge your wife or a friend for not doing some chore or favor you think they owe you? Do you get a fervor about telling people all about their failings? Do you get all worked up and excited to discuss precisely how someone else wronged you, creating time lines and diagrams of the crime scene? Do you turn your relationships into a never-ending debate about who did what and when?

Well, join the club, I'm sad to say. We're not a very popular club though, so don't flaunt your membership. In fact, you might strongly consider quitting this club. It's hard to quit, I know. Just as you feel that you are about to let go of how right you feel, just as you are about to get the courage and humility to go apologize when you weren't the only person who did something wrong, just as the start to feel all the tension and blood pressure start to ease, it is then that your calling falls upon you again like fire from the heavens!

You were about to forget your righteous anger and go say sorry, when you remember just how wrong the other person really is. The internal monologue starts again and as much as the tone of your own voice in your head annoys you, it's nothing compared to what THEY DID TO YOU! It's hard to give up what you may feel in that moment are your rights. It's hard to stop being angry over what you feel is legitimate right then.

Can you tell I deal with this a lot? Are you so happy that you don't live with me right now? I promise that I'm getting better! The more aware of what a dork I am, the better I get at stopping myself before I caught up in the fervor :)

Jesus said in Matthew 7:1-5 to be careful about condemning others because the same condemnation you give to others will be dealt to you. The same inability to overlook wrongs and flaws in others will be your reward when people need to deal with you. First, take a careful look at your self. Once you've confessed your sins and admitted your wrongs, Jesus says, then you can see clearly to look at others.

Paul talks about the proper way to take communion to the Corinthian church. He's telling them that they have ruined the reason Jesus asked believers to gather and have communion.

Here's 1 Corinthians 11:28-31:

11:28 A person should examine himself first, and in this way let him eat the bread and drink of the cup. 11:29 For the one who eats and drinks without careful regard for the body eats and drinks judgment against himself. 11:30 That is why many of you are weak and sick, and quite a few are dead. 11:31 But if we examined ourselves, we would not be judged.

Examine yourself! Examine yourself with careful regard to the forgiveness that Jesus happy gives and painfully bought on the cross. When I carefully regard the cross and what communion means, I have a hard time getting upset about spilt milk and rude comments. My sins have been forgiven me at such a great price. We carefully regard the wrongs done to us and the failings of others around us, when we should be carefully regarding the body of Jesus Christ, broken for us.

God got a hold of Peter and Peter nails this idea in 2 Peter 1:2-10:

1:2 May grace and peace be lavished on you as you grow in the rich knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord! 1:3 I can pray this because his divine power has bestowed on us everything necessary for life and godliness through the rich knowledge of the one who called us by his own glory and excellence. 1:4 Through these things he has bestowed on us his precious and most magnificent promises, so that by means of what was promised you may become partakers of the divine nature, after escaping the worldly corruption that is produced by evil desire. 1:5 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith excellence, to excellence, knowledge; 1:6 to knowledge, self-control; to self-control, perseverance; to perseverance, godliness; 1:7 to godliness, brotherly affection; to brotherly affection, unselfish love. 1:8 For if these things are really yours and are continually increasing, they will keep you from becoming ineffective and unproductive in your pursuit of knowing our Lord Jesus Christ more intimately. 1:9 But concerning the one who lacks such things – he is blind. That is to say, he is nearsighted, since he has forgotten about the cleansing of his past sins. 1:10 Therefore, brothers and sisters, make every effort to be sure of your calling and election. For by doing this you will never stumble into sin.

Be sure of your own calling and election! Carefully regard the grace and peace that God has lavished on you! Leave others alone and work on YOU. Make every effort to add to your faith the characteristics of the divine nature. Don't forget about the cleansing of your past sins, because it let's you too easily focus on the sins of others.

Live your life in Him

Have problems? Need answers? Join the club and get in line. I've googled for solutions. I've asked strangers for advice. I've been sucked into get-rich-quick schemes and I've been enticed by self improvement programs. When my girl friend dumped me, I joined karate to escape the pain and find some sort of relief. I didn't know where to turn to for help or where to find comfort.

Paul would say that I wasn't rooted. Think of Psalm 1 and David saying that the man who knows his Bible and who thinks about it a lot, is like a tree planted near flowing streams of water. I need to be rooted, established in Jesus and Scripture. I need to deepen my understanding of Him and His ways. That's how to succeed and how to be productive in life.

Check out Colossians 2:6-10:

2:6 Therefore, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, 2:7 rooted and built up in him and firm in your faith just as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. 2:8 Be careful not to allow anyone to captivate you through an empty, deceitful philosophy that is according to human traditions and the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ. 2:9 For in him all the fullness of deity lives in bodily form, 2:10 and you have been filled in him, who is the head over every ruler and authority.

Have you accepted God's gift of salvation, only to reject his offer to be filled by Him and built up in Him? Stop turning your back to God while He's in mid-sentence, offering solutions. Stop looking for answers where you'll only find emptiness and compound your pain and sorrow.

Dig your fingers deep into the scriptures. Be like a tree that is sinking it's roots into rich soil, confident that you cannot be moved or shaken from where you have been planted. Give up vain pursuits and start right now to desire to grow into maturity and to continue to live your life in Him and not in anything else.

Exhorted by His Mercy

Have you betrayed a trust or been careless and selfish so that it hurt someone? Have you intentionally done something to someone to hurt them? As easy as it may be to notice the times you've done it to another person, how aware are you of the times you've done it to your savior? I deserve to be whipped and beaten for the things I've done to people throughout my life. I don't deserve the chance to ever meet God for the way I've acted. And I wouldn't meet him were it not for His mercy. Mercy that not only forgives, but mercy that descends from heaven in the form of a Man to be whipped and beaten and to be separated from God for the things I've done.

It is by this mercy that Paul exhorts us to not be changed by this world, but to be transformed. Read Romans 12:1-2:

12:1 Therefore I exhort you, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a sacrifice – alive, holy, and pleasing to God – which is your reasonable service. 12:2 Do not be conformed to this present world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may test and approve what is the will of God – what is good and well-pleasing and perfect.

Think of how God has given you mercy. Think of the specifics of your evil and cruelty. Then confess those things to Him now. Go ahead, confess it, say it, whisper it, write it down. Now thank God for his forgiveness and in faith receive that immense forgiveness. Trust His forgiveness to be real and effective. It's powerful enough to wash away all that you have done.

Use your understanding of His mercy today, be exhorted by it. May it propel you to present your body to Him in service. God is pleased by your attitude towards his mercy. He is pleased that you are motivated to trust His forgiveness and shun the priorities of this world. He is pleased that you have chosen to live this day out of gratitude for what He did.